Tiffany Baira is a TikToker, podcast host, and dating guru living in New York City, who emulates the cool older sister we all wish we had growing up. Shedding light on topics like sex, dating, self love, confidence, and more, her content candidly delivers advice often deemed taboo. At just 23-years-old she has earned a Bachelor’s degree in Philosophy, modeled in NYC, started a growing and successful podcast, and gained over 2 million likes on TikTok. The expertise that Tiff shares online stems from her long journey with learning how to love herself, and passion for showing everyone that you deserve the best in every relationship you are a part of.
Q: Could you give the readers at SHEESH! a little insight on who you are and what you do?
Tiff Baira: Hi I’m Tiff Baira, I am a musician who turned into a model, podcaster, and TikToker. I moved to New York when I was 18 and went to PACE University where I studied Philosophy and wrote music while performing it all over the city in my free time. Meanwhile getting a full-time education in dating as well. I realized that over quarantine I really missed men! I missed dating and getting all dressed up to go for a night out. I created a kind of nostalgic community on my TikTok on accident, by just making a video of all the men I had slept with in New York and my platform grew from there. This grew into my current podcast Take Me Out, as well as more TikToks and more music, but it’s been a journey girl!
Q: You offer private online dating sessions, could you tell us a little more about what those are like or what they typically entail?
Tiff Baira: I’ve actually been so excited about starting this private dating service, it is an opportunity to just sort of sit with someone and strategize what is best for them when it comes to dating. This is sort of like a confidence workshop where you can be like, “This is what makes me feel good, this is what doesn’t, this is what I do and don’t want in a partner and be able to fully understand what you need in a relationship.” The dating service is really just about dating on your terms, figuring out what makes you feel confident while dating, and more. It is not necessarily about finding the perfect soulmate or your one true love, but it’s about finding what treatment and qualities make you feel good and strong. It’s about self-fulfillment and having someone that adds something to your life, rather than just someone to be there giving you nothing. The point of my work is to start from the baseline of what makes you happy so that it doesn’t matter if you’re having one night stands, you’re in a long term relationship, or if you’ve been married for twenty years! You understand what qualities are important and healthy for you.
Q: Can you give our readers any advice on how to make dating more comfortable and fun?
Tiff Baira: I totally understand that dating can be really scary, but the most important thing to understand is that you need to be going on the date for yourself. You can’t avoid a bad date, it’s impossible. However, you can create the potentiality of meeting someone. Don’t go on that date with the expectation of meeting Mr. Future, go on that date because you’re doing it for you. Because you want love, and you want to be in a romantic situation and hey! It might not be them, but from that experience, you just learned what you do not like and now you can go on your next date with that knowledge. Each date you get closer to that comfortability and to knowing what you really want/need from someone romantically. Bad dates give you the knowledge of what a good date is for you. Date like it’s your last date, take away the pressure! Stop worrying about if they like you or not, and start worrying about if they’re even of quality for you.
Q: You just announced season two of your “Take Me Out” podcast, would you like to tell us a little bit more about what it’s like and what you discuss?
Tiff Baira: Take Me Out is a podcast that I really threw together when everyone on TikTok wanted to hear more from me. I googled podcast studios in New York, found a great studio, and got all my friends together to just talk. My favorite thing to do is going out for drinks with my friends, and talking shit about our dating lives and experiences. I didn’t have time to make a structured podcast so we all just got together and talked about all the shit that we do. When I took the time to think about what I really wanted this podcast to be, I came to the conclusion that I wanted it to be a place where the normal narrative of dating is challenged. I wanted to give a voice to different types of dating and sex styles. Make it a place of celebration and inclusivity. We have so many different types of people coming on season two, everything from someone who is in love with a sex doll to sex workers. Giving a platform for people to speak on their sex lives in a place where there is no judgment and it consistently is celebrated.
Q: I really admire how empowered you are talking about your sexuality as a woman, will you tell us more about how this came about? Was it ever a struggle or was it fairly innate?
Tiff Baira: Absolutely, a lot of my confidence and empowerment comes from pain. I definitely was made fun of a lot when I was younger for being fat or being “the big girl”. I felt as though I had my chance to be seen as beautiful taken away from me, often from the boys in high school and middle school. I never saw myself in a sexual or a beautiful light, and then I moved to New York and queue the movie! Queue the coming of age music! It was kind of like my sexual awakening where I was seen as beautiful by others for the first time. I then made the conscious decision that I would no longer waste my life telling myself what I do and do not deserve. I started to fight myself and these intrinsic thoughts I would have about not being good enough, or being too big and I just started taking micro steps of telling myself about what I do deserve. This overtime led me on a journey where the destination was seeing myself for who I never thought I could be. I think my life is now an active journey of fighting for the things I want and telling myself that I do have value. I now understand that not everyone is going to like me, but I am fully okay with that as long as I am standing for the things that make me feel strong and beautiful. Also, you know this is not a consistent thing it can change all day, I might wake up in the morning thinking I’m the baddest bitch then by the end of the day it’s, “Oh my god I’m hideous where’s the wine”, but it’s constantly telling myself that no dream is too big, no outfit is too scandalous, and no man is out of my league.
Q: Do you think that your music falls into a certain genre or category?
Tiff Baira: I grew up singing jazz in New Orleans, and then I came to New York and just started singing over any beats. It’s very unapologetically pop, but I do think there is a little bit of R&B and jazz influence. If it had to be a genre it would be sad girl, but it is for sure electronic, R&B, pop.
Q: You released your song “Plastic” in 2020, can you tell us about the process of releasing and making music during such a crazy, turbulent year?
Tiff Baira: Plastic is a pop bop that fully represented my journey in New York. I was going out and consistently presenting this perfect part of me and my life. Then showing how this persona of perfection was actually protecting me from showing my emotions and being openly hurt. A lyric is “gold diamond hearts, they don’t ever get hurt,” so it’s sort of showing the emotional disconnect where you are living this perfect life on social media or on paper, but it’s really just a way of projecting to protect. Showing a little bit of the sadness in what a perfect life can be. Is it really perfect if you are not opening yourself up to the highs and lows, and opening yourself up to real relationships and real connections? Plastic is really about my life and how I love the glam! But I want someone I can go to the grocery store with and make it feel like love.
Q: What is one thing you would like to see change about the entertainment industry?
Tiff Baira: I would like to see more inclusivity, in the way that I want there to be a celebration of all of the narratives that come with what it means to be a person. What it means to date, what it means to be a model, what it means to make music, in the way that celebrates the individual and their journey instead of a single idea of what something should look like. Noting that what each individual person says has value, above what they look like or who they might be. It’s very fucking frustrating when you see the same thing over, and over, and over again, and you don’t see yourself in that. I would like to see the entertainment industry give kids the opportunity to see themselves in the things that they watch and consume.
Tiff Baira: I would like to see more inclusivity, in the way that I want there to be a celebration of all of the narratives that come with what it means to be a person. What it means to date, what it means to be a model, what it means to make music, in the way that celebrates the individual and their journey instead of a single idea of what something should look like. Noting that what each individual person says has value, above what they look like or who they might be. It’s very fucking frustrating when you see the same thing over, and over, and over again, and you don’t see yourself in that. I would like to see the entertainment industry give kids the opportunity to see themselves in the things that they watch and consume.
Q: What’s next?
Tiff Baira: For me, I’m really excited to see the journey of my TikTok and of Take Me Out as a podcast. This next season I want to push the boundaries a lot, it’s going to be really exciting to hear all the journeys of so many different people. Of course, also be on my hoe shit on the podcast– we have lost a lot of connection in 2020 with COVID-19–but I hope Take Me Out is a place where everyone can relive all the fun nights they’ve had, and feel like a hoe with their AirPods in, in bed. I don’t know what’s going to happen next, but I am going to keep creating and hopefully continue to create a space for all of us to feel like we belong.
Keep up with Tiffany Baira through her social media, podcast and music! Instagram: @tiffbaira; TikTok: @tiffbaira; Podcast: Take Me Out; Tiffany Baira on Spotify and Apple Music
This interview has been edited and condensed for clarity.
