A TEDx speaker, host of Instyle Magazines TikTok, and a Cancer with a Leo Moon, Estefania Pessoa, otherwise known as Tefi, needs no introduction. A Miami native living in Brooklyn, Tefi has amassed a loyal fanbase of over one million combined followers on her TikTok, Youtube, and Instagram who are ready to listen, laugh, and discuss any topic she wishes to highlight. From dissecting infamous pop culture moments of the early 90s and 2000s to astrology compatibility, Tefi aims to make her audience, and anyone listening, feel a little bit better in their lives.
If you haven’t stumbled upon one of Hello Tefi’s videos, where have you been? Tefi’s candor, vulnerability, and willingness to listen makes every listener feel they are having their own private conversation with her. It is no surprise then that she is truly everyone’s favorite ‘IBF’ or ‘Internet Best Friend’ as coined by Tefi. As for so many of us, Tefi first began her foray into TikTok during quarantine when she came across tweets declaring the app as “so embarrassing” and “cringe”. Intrigued, Tefi downloaded Tiktok and began creating content alongside the Youtube show she was hosting at the time called the ‘The Tefi Show’ (unfortunately, the show is no longer running but readily available for your delightful consumption on her Youtube). Over the past year and a half, Tefi’s presence has gradually increased with her being marked by Instyle Magazine to host their Tiktok and TEDx selecting her to give a talk on the shifty state of feeling known as confidence.
Tefi kindly offered her time to discuss her personal journey on social media, the advice she would give her younger self, and what she would like others to know about her. From hilarious anecdotes to pop-culture moments that made her feel she was witnessing history, Tefi’s wit and kindness will surely make you want more.
Q: How do you maintain the inspiration to continue creating content?
TEFI: In my life, I have shed so many friends and relationships, undergone a detoxification, and during quarantine, I began to miss the ability to send funny anecdotes I would find on the internet and could really only share with that specific person because of our relationship. So, I started to talk about these specific anecdotes with people online and the commentary snowballed from there. I started TikTok as a place to be a ‘girl best friend’ to somebody who needed a friend like me.
Q: How would you define your content creation?
TEFI: I like to create content that invokes kindness, thought, and compassion, but is a little bitchy. [Laughs] I think there is humor in calling out the ridiculous as long as it is not hateful. We can call out the ridiculous things in our lives and recognize at the same time different self-soothing mechanisms. There are aspects in all our lives that are very common but rarely talked about or there’s a big stigma around it, and a lot of shame because we want to present ourselves to society a certain way. I think we are completely presentable no matter what. There are also a lot of people who struggle with a kind of loneliness that I am unfamiliar with, but I have been lonely myself and so, we can relate in that way and we can laugh about it.
Q: What do you love about social media?
TEFI: I am a child of social media. I remember THE day I signed up for Myspace and I was 15– I mean what a terrible time to have social media. The way I feel about social media is the way that I feel about anything that is powerful: for good. I think that social media is a powerful tool to soothe other people, to make people more comfortable or uncomfortable. It’s a double-edged sword but I have chosen to repress the negative. The block button, for me, is the best button on the internet, it’s instant gratification. The only reason I am so open is that I have been on the other side of social media and seeing all this darkness. So I’ve developed these tools so I don’t go crazy and if I can share them then that’s what I’m going to do. Social media is something that can be enjoyed, but like any relationship with anyone or anything, boundaries need to be in place.
Q: What is your favorite or least favorite pop culture moment?
TEFI: They are the same. I remember where I was, in my old house in Miami, and what I was doing because I was dancing at the time, and watching the 2009 VMA’s. I remember the moment, the moment, that Kanye West got on stage. I am 18 watching him, trashed on live television, experiencing the triple embarrassment of Taylor Swift, Beyonce, and myself witnessing what is going on. That moment is the perfect trifecta of pop culture synchronicity. I was so embarrassed for them and at the same time there are moments in pop culture when you realize “I am witnessing history.” It was the best and worst moment in my life as a viewer. [Laughs]
Q: What currently inspires you?
TEFI: The moment I realized that the person who I want to be is completely possible. The person that inspires me the most is the woman that I know who I am meant to be. The projection of myself is what inspires me, she’s constantly changing but I never not like her.
Q: Who is Tefi?
TEFI: Tefi is someone who is trying to better herself every day and loves where she’s from and wants to share those two things.
Q: What advice would you give your younger self?
TEFI: I know that your feelings are valid but your feelings are not definite. So you may be really upset, angry, and feel hopeless or confused or boxed in, even lost, but that doesn’t mean that it’s going to be like that forever. Things are constantly changing as long as your perception is changing. You’re giving all the control and narrative to the people around you when you are quite possibly the main character in your own life. Recognize that you need to stop being the supporting character in other people’s lives and you can control the narrative of your own life and you don’t need other people to tell you what’s good or bad, that comes with common sense.
Q: Any aspirations you hope to explore in the future?
TEFI: I know that I am enjoying my time and I am enjoying my engagement and interaction with people, but if it comes to an end goal, and I have been saying this since I was 20, that one day I will be paid for being myself. Whatever that means I am with it, I just haven’t been specific about it. I am sure I want to make people feel better and help make people laugh, feel nostalgic, and more understood. I would love to continue to speak in public. I know I want to be seen, and I want to be here. I just don’t know where yet.
Q: Any advice you would give anyone who wants to start carving out a platform for themselves?
TEFI: Stop thinking about the things that people who don’t like you would say. Start thinking about the people you have yet to meet who are going to love you. Approach people as if they would already like you and people will respond to that. For social media, talk about things that you want to talk about and there will be people who want to talk about it with you. Stop thinking about that girl from third grade who’s going to say, “oh she does this or has this” because you are a great babe. Don’t look for permission.
Q: Anything left unsaid?
TEFI: People come to me for advice and feel like I am a friend to them, but I want them to know that I used to feel so ashamed of the mistakes I made or the hurt I caused myself or to others. People look at me and think that I am this awesome friend, this awesome partner, but the only reason I feel so confident in myself today is that at one point I wasn’t. I have totally fucked up, I have totally been very mean, I have been a bad friend, but bad people don’t feel bad. That has always gotten me through myself because I wanted to improve. I deserve better than the kind of behavior that I had or the way I was treating people. I deserve to be a better person. I don’t claim to be a monk, I simply hope to help you fuck up less than I did.
Make sure to keep up with your Internet BFF by following Hello Tefi on TikTok, Youtube, and Instagram .
This interview has been edited and condensed for clarity.
